I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
