I love black thongs
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
