there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
