Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
