If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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