I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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