OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
