It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
