I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
