her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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