UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
