So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
