it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
this hospital has no fireball
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
