If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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