or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
