its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
