You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
