There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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