The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
actually, I'm a sock model
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
