I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I am never drinking with the goths again.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
