who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
