dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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