Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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