Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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