am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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