You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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