Your face is a jimmy john
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Panties = found
Randomize
