Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
