Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm like, not good at living.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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