She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
