I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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