I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
