i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
