I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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