i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
