I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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