She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
