i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
