Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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