I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
