drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
