Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
