On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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