a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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