did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
