How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
