Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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