my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
