i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
