Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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