let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
